Little did you know that the marathon of pregnancy and birth was to continue. The first six weeks of baby's life is pure torture for most new parents, intermixed with the bliss of your new love (if you've bonded right away). It is physically excruciating, which can range from feeling dog tired to feeling like a walking zombie to feeling so tired that you want to throw up. Then there is your mental health. Sleep is a necessary ingredient for sanity. I was awful to my husband, and he to me. Some of the worst moments of my life were at 4 am, with a crying or brightly awake baby in my arms. The world felt like it was crumbling around me. Have I freaked you out yet? I don't mean to scare you. There are also plenty of tears of joy in those first beautiful weeks - it is an incredible and beautiful journey. However, if you are not one of those rare parents with a baby that sleeps through the night right away, how can you ease the pains of this first month?
1. Help! Get as much help as you can. As a first time parent, it may seem weird to demand help from visitors but if your visitor has had their own baby they know what you're going through and would gladly oblige a chore for a peek at the new baby. Tell them you would have time to entertain them for a short while if they would help you with a load of laundry, a walk for the dogs, a meal, a massage, sweeping the floors, etc. You can also post this into your baby arrival email announcement so that you don't have to tell each one individually, and everyone is clear on your boundaries. Visitors that don't help in some way can really put a drain on you in these early days so be firm, or if you are too soft, have someone else orchestrate this for you! Your loved ones will be more than happy to help and meet your special new being.
2. Help Part 2! What if you don't have a tribe of supporting friends and family around you to help you in the first month? Put all the money you would have allotted to a fancy crib or stoller into paying someone to help you. A post partum doula, a maid, a dog walker - all these things can help you keep your sanity during those first painful weeks.
3. Help Part 3! So you don't have friends or family close by, nor enough money to get a maid. You can however stock your freezer and pantry with as much healthy pre made food as you can.
4. What if you can't sleep? If you find that when baby arrives you are a jangle of nerves and cannot sleep when the baby is sleeping or napping, just lie down. Rest. Meditate on good thoughts and store up some energy - because you never know if baby is going to be awake all night again or not. And if you get rest AND sleep, don't feel guilty! Good grief. You're only going through one of the hardest physical and emotional times in your life right now. Everything and everybody can wait for you and baby to get through this time.
So if you've had kids, how did you make it through sleeplessness?
Did you have a tribe surrounding you to help?
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